its been so long since i last updated my blog.. a lot of things had been happening lately.. things just filled up my mind till my migraine came back.. and it just hurt so bad i had to rely on panadol again.. din wanna touch it but.. i couldnt take the pain that the migraine had been causing..
things are not that fine between me and liwei.. this time was different from the past few times.. i can even feel that his love for me now is different from last time.. i couldnt feel anything from his eyes, his hands.. when i held his hand, i could feel that its different.. its like.. there's no force.. i cant help it when my tears wanna fall.. everytime i held his hand, i feel this way and i just felt that my tears are going to fall out but i tried not to let it out.. in order not to let my tears fall, i held on to his arm instead..
i can even feel that liwei's tired.. very very tired.. the things i did.. i dunno why i did them.. in the past, i knw that i wont do such things to the one i love but i dunno why i did it to him.. its been some time but i still cant figure out why i let myself did such things to him.. i feel like slapping myself everytime i said or did something to hurt him.. be it verbally or through sms.. i dun feel that i am me when i did such things to him.. i dunno whats wrong with me.. am i mad or wad? why did i do such things to my own bf? to the one i love?
i wanna change things.. but i dunno where should i start from.. i dunno which is the best way.. i dunno how i should do it.. there's a lot of things i dunno..
i dun wanna make things more difficult for him.. but i want to solve this.. so that we can continue and move on with our rs.. i dun wan us to just stop here.. there's still a lot of things we haven done together yet.. i just.. hope things to go back to normal.. and i will never do such things to him ever again..
all the photos.. i looked through and through.. i like the photo we took at barrage the most.. the one we took the first time we went to barrage.. you looked really very happy.. unlike now.. i am the one who caused all the pain and tiredness to you.. i wont do them to you anymore.. i hope we can have our happy times back.. and let this period that we're going through now to fade away.. i want us to be happy.. i want us to be a loving couple.. i want us to have a happy relationship.. that would last forever..
